What If Dogs Did Human Jobs?

A Fun Look at Dogs With Human Jobs

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What if dogs had human careers?

The world’s an amazing place with dogs in it. For dog lovers, the world would be a much emptier place without them!

But imagine a world in which dogs did human things, including human jobs – that’s exactly what we did, and here are the jobs we matched to eleven different dog breeds!

Chihuahua

Let’s begin with one of the smallest breeds on the block – the infamous Chihuahua! Favoured by many celebrities as their dog of choice, including Paris Hilton and Madonna, we imagine the Chihuahua is not a stranger to the world of fashion!

Known for their big personalities and ability to make themselves heard; we think this feisty breed would excel in the busy world of glamour.

For this reason, we’ve chosen a career in Fashion Design. Bold and confident, we don’t think the Chihuahua would have many problems making it big in a world full of larger-than-life egos! We think it would rule such a world!

Afghan Hound

From a small, busy breed, to a large, elegant breed – let’s look at a suitable career choice for the Afghan Hound.

Graceful, slender and light on their feet – we can’t help thinking of the Afghan Hound gliding effortlessly across a stage, dressed in a tutu!

That’s right – we think the Afghan Hound would make an accomplished ballet dancer! Tall and strong, they’d have no problem performing Swan Lake or The Sleeping Beauty.

No stranger to the attention of admiring onlookers wherever they go, we think such a striking breed would be at home in the limelight. Perhaps the Chihuahua could help design the costumes!

Bullmastiff

Who might prevent undesirables from entering the ballet show, though? We’d need a doorman with a formidable presence, and for that role, we’ve chosen the Bullmastiff.

Loyal and imposing, the Bullmastiff would protect what he was asked to protect with utmost loyalty. With ballet audiences being slightly different to drunk nightclub revellers, our doorman would need to be polite and approachable, while confident enough to deal with any problems.

For such a large breed, with an impressive physique, the Bullmastiff is actually very calm and controlled. Unless you mess him around, that is. If he says ‘no casual shoes’, you’d better believe he means no casual shoes!

Dachshund

Now let’s look at a breed doing a job that could help our ballet dancer keep in shape, and our doorman retain his calm demeanour.

We think the long, lithe Dachshund would make quite the yoga instructor! Flexible and agile, with a patient demeanour, we imagine the little Dachshund’s big, yet calm, personality would be well suited to teaching people the Downward Dog pose!

Schnauzer

What about a career that most of us would never consider? One done under the cover of darkness while our yoga teacher and ballerina catch up on their beauty sleep.

Yup – we’re talking about a burglar! With its sharp wits and alert personality, we think the Schnauzer would have no problem sneaking into somebody’s house and making off with the family jewels!

But if those reasons don’t work for you, you must admit that his facial hair gives him the appearance of a dog that looks good as a villain!

Beagle

But who would catch such a rogue Schnauzer?

We’d need a dog that is persistent and determined, while having an exceptional sense of smell – after all, unless the Schnauzer leaves a nose print at the scene, which are as individual to dogs as fingerprints are to humans, then it’s going to be his scent which gives him away.

For this task, we think Detective Beagle is the dog for the job.

With his high intelligence and puzzle-solving skills, coupled with an extraordinary nose, it won’t be long before the Schnauzer feels the long paw of the law on his rump!

Doberman

Awaiting trial, our burglar is going to need somebody to represent him when he goes before a judge.

Perhaps somebody with an intimidating yet striking presence, and with a high level of intelligence. It would need to be a dog that was loyal to his client and didn’t give up easily. For our job of lawyer, we’ve chosen the Doberman!

We think he’d excel at persuading the judge to let our Schnauzer out of the doghouse, and you’ve got to admit – he looks great in a suit!

Basset Hound

There’s only one dog ready to take on the unenviable task of being a high court judge, and that’s Her Honour the Basset Hound.

To be honest, we can’t think of any other reason other than she looks absolutely amazing in a wig. Also, she has the face of a wise old dog who’s heard it all before. The Schnauzer’s Doberman lawyer had better be good if he thinks he can pull the wool over our Basset Hound Judge’s eyes!

Jack Russell

And while all this is going on, there are jobs being carried out hundreds of meters beneath our feet. Whether they’re looking for diamonds, gold, coal or copper – these hidden workers help keep our world spinning.

But what breed would we choose for such a dark and dangerous job?

The Jack Russell Terrier, of course! With the word terrier coming from the Latin terra, for earth, our miner was always going to be a terrier of some sort, but we chose the Jack Russell not only because of its digging abilities, but its intelligence and high energy levels, too.

Brave and tenacious, we don’t think the little Jack Russell would stop digging until he’d found the gold seam! We also think the banter between Jack Russell miners would be awesome!

Corgi

From a career hidden away in the depths of the earth to one that is in the eye of the public, we’ve found the perfect job for a Corgi!

Famously known for being the breed of choice for the late Queen Elizabeth II, we think the ever-alert and loyal Corgi would be proud to guard King Charles. With its Welsh ancestry, there is only one guard regiment for our brave dog to serve in, and that is of course the Welsh Guards!

Labrador

And finally, we need a career for the UK’s most popular dog breed – the Labrador Retriever. With its patient temperament and soothing presence, we think the amiable Labrador would make an amazing therapist!

We often pour our hearts out to our dogs when nobody else is listening (we do anyway!), so why shouldn’t the gentle Labrador make a bit of extra treat money from listening to us? I for one would pay whatever it took for an hour with a Labrador Retriever therapist!

We hope you’ve enjoyed our fantasy world of dogs doing human jobs, and if you have any better ideas, or think we gave the wrong job to the wrong dog, please leave a comment – we’d love to hear from you!

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